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In His Eyes
Gail Gaymer Martin
Her young love for Connor Faraday had left her heartbroken.Although home designer Ellene Bordini had moved on, she'd never felt drawn to any other man - and never recovered from Connor's betrayal. Now, a decade later, Connor was back in her life wanting her back in his life forever. Ellene's faith told her to forgive him and to accept the new man he'd become.While working in the brisk beauty of his Michigan island home, she rediscovered her lost love and bonded with the little girl he wanted to raise right. Was this God's mysterious way of helping Ellene deal with the past or paving the way for reconciliation?
“Haven’t you ever made a mistake, Ellene?” her father asked.
The night Connor left stuck in her memory, but today, a bittersweet sensation washed over her. “I’ve made bad choices, Dad, but—”
“Sin is sin. Mistakes are mistakes. The Bible teaches us to forgive so that God will forgive us our mistakes. You’re the one who ended the engagement with Connor. You need to move on with your life. You’re both adults now.”
“I have moved on.”
Her father took her hand and held it, his strong fingers covering hers. “You’ve let this grudge against Connor go on too long. I know you’ve seen other fellows, but you’ve steered so far away from marriage or commitment, I’ll die without grandkids and you’ll die an old maid.”
“I’m only twenty-six.”
“Going on forty.” He gave her a wan smile, then walked over to his desk. “Here’s Connor’s phone number.” He extended a sheet of paper. “Call him.”
GAIL GAYMER MARTIN
lives in Michigan with her husband, Bob, her dearest friend and greatest support. She loves the privilege of writing stories that touch people’s hearts and share God’s promises.
Gail is multipublished in nonfiction and over thirty works of fiction. Her novels have received numerous awards: a Booksellers Best in 2005, a Holt Medallion in 2001 and 2003, the Texas Winter Rose 2003, the American Christian Romance Writers 2002 Book of the Year Award and the Romantic Times BOOKclub Reviewers Choice as Best Love Inspired novel in 2002.
When not behind her computer, Gail enjoys a busy life—traveling, presenting workshops at conferences, as well as speaking at churches, business groups and civic events.
She enjoys hearing from her readers. Write to her at P.O. Box 760063, Lathrup Village, MI, 48076 or at gail@gailmartin.com. Visit her Web site at www.gailmartin.com.
In His Eyes
Gail Gaymer Martin
The eye is the lamp of the body.
If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.
—Matthew 6:22–23
This book is dedicated to my husband’s aunt Florence and to Bob’s wonderful Italian family. They are filled with warmth, love and compassion.
Over the years, I’ve learned so much about his family’s traditions and fun-loving spirit.
Thanks to my friend Marianne Funke who lived on Harsens Island and answered my questions. Thanks to Esther from the Riverfront Shop who provided me with more information.
As always, I thank my husband for his hard work and support. He is a hero in my eyes.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Letter to Reader
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
Chapter One
“You want me to do what?”
Ellene Bordini’s voice ricocheted around her office as she frowned at the telephone. She pursed her lips, waiting for her father’s peevish voice to sail back at her.
Instead, she heard silence.
“I’m sorry, Dad, but—”
“Come in here, Ellene. We need to talk.”
His quiet voice struck her harder than a slap. She’d tried his patience, and his response had been far more gentle than she’d deserved.
“All right,” she said, humbled by his manner. She hung up the phone and clasped her hands together to calm her reaction to his request.
She knew better than to attack her father. She knew because she loved him and because the Bible said to honor her parents.
A prickle ran up her arms as she thought about her brother. Her position in the construction company should have been his—had he been alive. Her dad was proud of the family business, and her goal was to prove she could handle it with a firm hand.
Ellene ran her fingers through her hair, pulling out knots at the ends. She disliked her natural curl about as much as she disliked talking with Connor Faraday, but that seemed to be what her father expected.
Checking her calendar, she speculated when she’d have time to call Connor Faraday. Her father’s insistence let her know she wouldn’t change his mind, but she’d try. How could she talk business with the man who’d broken her heart? Grasping her fortitude, she rose and strode from her small office into the corridor, then crossed the hall to her father’s office.
She lifted her hand and paused, gathering her thoughts, then rapped her knuckles against the solid wood door. For a woman of twenty-nine, she still felt a child’s reaction to facing her father. When he invited her in, she drew a lengthy breath and turned the knob.
Syl Bordini sat behind his desk with his back to the door, a telephone receiver pressed against his ear. When Ellene stepped inside, he swivelled to face her, a grim look wrinkling his brow. “I’ll have Ellene call you today to set an appointment. Thanks again for thinking of us.”
Ellene stood close to the door, hoping his lecture for snarling at him would be quick and painless, but when he lowered the receiver, he motioned toward a chair, his look more tender than she expected. She closed the door behind her and settled across from him.
“I’m sorry, Dad, for—”
He waved his hand to brush away her words. “Ellene, this is our livelihood. Sometimes we must deal with people we’d rather not, but if they’re honest and need our services, then we work with them. You wanted a position with the company, and I trusted that you could do the job.”
He looked at her above his reading glasses, and she squirmed. “I can, Dad. Have I ever disappointed you?”
“Not at all. I’m pleased with your work. Very pleased.”
A faraway look filled his eyes, and Ellene figured his thoughts had drifted to her brother who’d died in Bosnia.
His focus returned, and he shook his head. “Today I’m disappointed that you let the past influence your judgment. Business is business.”
“I know business is business,” she said. “But this is different, Dad. It’s Connor. We were engaged, and it ended badly. We have other employees who could do the job.”
“He asked for you.”
The words jarred her. Why? She searched for a logical reason, but none came.
Her father leaned closer, his voice softer. “He said he trusts your judgment.”
But she didn’t trust Connor’s. She sat speechless, her mind sorting out her father’s words.
“Listen, Ellene,” he said, rising. His voice sounded like the father from her childhood. He walked around the desk and drew up a chair beside her. “I understand your feelings, but time has passed. Ten years.”
“Not quite eight,” she said. To her it still seemed like yesterday.
“Haven’t you ever made a mistake?”
The night Connor left stuck in her memory like a tack, but today, a bittersweet sensation rolled across her thoughts. “I’ve made bad choices, Dad, but—”
“Sin is sin. Mistakes are mistakes. The Bible teaches us to forgive so that God will forgive us our mistakes. I don’t know what you expected of Connor. You ended the engagement. You need to move on with your life. You’re both adults now.”
“Connor’s married, Dad. I have moved on.”
Her father took her hand and held it, his strong fingers covering hers. The warmth spread up her arm giving her a sense of safety, the same as when she had been a little girl. “He trusts you.”
“If that’s what you want, I’ll handle it.”
He gave her hand a firm squeeze. “I knew you would, Ellene. I think you’ve let this grudge go on too long. I know you’ve seen other fellows, but you’ve steered so far away from marriage or commitment, I’ll die without grandkids and you’ll die an old maid. I’d like to be a grandfather someday.”
“I’m only twenty-nine.”
“Going on forty.” He gave her a wan smile, then rose and walked to his desk. “Here’s his phone number.” He extended a sheet of paper.
Ellene rose and took the memo, gazing at her father’s familiar neat blueprint-style lettering. “I’ll call him tomorrow.”
“You’ll call now. That was Connor on the phone when you walked in. I told him you’d call today.”
Her stomach bottomed out.
“He’s anxious to get the project underway.”
“Where is the job?”
“On Harsens Island. It was his mother’s place.”
“Harsens Island? That’s near Algonac.”
He nodded. “When do we turn down a job, because it’s a few miles away?”
Connor’s face rose in her mind, his firm jaw, those crystal-blue eyes that melted her heart, his light brown hair that turned gold in the summer sun, the soft unruly waves she’d love to run her fingers through. Connor, the rat, who’d walked away with her heart and into the arms of another woman without looking back.
Her icy hand felt damp as she clasped the phone number. She looked into her father’s eyes and gave up the battle. “I’ll call Connor today, Dad.”
Connor sat at a table along the restaurant wall, his eyes glued to the doorway. His knee wiggled beneath the tablecloth, and he tucked his hands in his lap to stop himself from playing with the silverware.
His nerves had never been so raw, at least not since years ago when his relationship with Ellene had ended. He’d asked himself over and over why he’d insisted that she work as the contractor with him. He knew Bordini Construction had a solid reputation. Any of their contractors would have done an excellent job, but when he’d called the company, he’d done what his heart dictated.
He’d heard the tension in Ellene’s tone when she’d called. Her voice had always raised the hairs on the back of his neck, the resonant tone filled with spirit and a light heart. Yesterday the lilt had seemed missing, replaced by a controlled voice that sounded so alien to him.
The waitress filled his coffee cup for the third time, and he pushed up his sleeve to check his watch again, wondering if she’d stood him up. Ellene had always had subtle ways to get even. She often joked about God’s eye-for-an-eye philosophy, but most often, her true spirit had been to turn the other cheek.
Connor pulled his hand from beneath the table and lifted the cup as he observed the steam. Through the curling haze, he saw the restaurant door swing open, along with a chilly wind, and he held his breath.
Ellene.
At first glance, she hadn’t changed except for the elegance of maturity. Her dark hair hung in loose curls to her shoulders, as he remembered. How many times had he run his fingers through the thick tendrils?
He lifted his hand, and when she saw him, a tense look tightened her features. Her mouth set into a straight line, hiding the generous smile he recalled so easily.
She slipped off her peacoat, and he watched her cross the room, dressed in pants and jacket the color of blueberries. He didn’t like blueberries, but he liked the deep-blue color against warm beige skin. The color illuminated her eyes.
“Hello,” Connor said, rising. He longed to embrace her, but he sensed her apprehension and extended his hand.
She took it with a firm shake, then released his fingers and pulled out her own chair. “You look well,” she said, her eyes focused everywhere but on his.
“So do you.” He wanted to say so much more, but not today. She’d made it clear this was a business appointment. “Thanks for meeting with me.”
“You’re welcome. Dad sends his best wishes.”
“We had a nice talk today.” He admired Ellene’s father. Though a shrewd businessman, he had always been honest and forthright.
She nodded, her eyes focused on the menu.
“I didn’t know what to order you to drink,” he said, lost for words. He had so much to say—things he longed to tell her, but he feared her response. Connor recoiled at the helpless feeling that washed over him.
“I’d like hot tea,” she said, finally looking up. “I’m sorry I was late. I had to handle a call as I was leaving.”
“No problem.” Connor beckoned the waitress and ordered the tea, then perused the menu, hoping that time and silence might pull things into perspective. Nearly eight years had passed since he’d seen Ellene. Yet emotionally, he felt as if it had been the day before.
“It’s been a long time,” he said, unleashing the thoughts from his mind.
“Yes, it has.”
She said nothing more, and he took his cue from her. He selected his meal, though his stomach had tied in knots from the moment he’d sat at the table.
The strained silence rattled him; he felt his knee bouncing beneath the table again, and he braced his heel against the floor, forcing his leg to steady. “I don’t know if your dad told you, but I’ve inherited my mother’s summer home on Harsens Island.”
“I heard about your mom’s death, Connor. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. She’d been ill for a while.”
“I was very fond of your mom.”
Warm memories filled him. “I know, and she was crazy about you.” The silence in the air was charged with memories.
The waitress returned with the tea and took their orders. Ellene dropped the bag into the metal pot, then dipped it a few times. Finally she rolled the string around the bag, gave a pull and set it on the saucer.
Connor wanted to grab the pot and drain it into the cup to complete the ritual so they could talk. His leg began jigging again, and he stretched it out, determined to relax.
Ellene poured the tea, took a careful sip, then looked at him. “So, what can Bordini Construction do for you?”
Connor pulled his knee up sharply and whacked the bottom of the table. Her tea splashed over the edge into the saucer. “Sorry,” he said, grabbing his napkin and dabbing the liquid.
“It’s fine. That’s what saucers are for.”
He pulled away the soggy napkin and placed the dry side onto his lap, feeling like a gangling teenager. When he looked at Ellene, she gave him a wide-eyed gaze.
“Back to business,” she said. “Dad said you wanted some work done. What kind of renovations are you talking about? What time frame are we discussing?”
“I’d like to enlarge both bedrooms, add a garage. Possibly make the porch a year-round room.”
“It’s screened now.”
He nodded, pleased that she remembered, because that might mean she recalled them together there, their kisses so emotional he had to rein in his longing, a yearning he controlled for her sake. He’d revered her upbringing and only wished he had continued that kind of restraint.
“We need another bathroom upstairs, too,” he said as an afterthought.
Ellene’s head jerked upward while an uneasy expression filled her face. “You said we. Now that I think of it, I’d feel more comfortable if your wife were with us, Connor. I’d like to hear her ideas in her own words.”
Her question startled him. “Apparently you haven’t heard.”
Ellene’s forehead wrinkled. “You’re divorced?”
Her tone reminded him she didn’t approve of divorce. “No. Melanie died. An aneurism. It all happened too fast. I wasn’t prepared.”
Ellene’s frown faded. “I’m sorry, Connor. I hadn’t heard.” She lifted a finger and wound it through a strand of hair. “Sadly, falling in love offers no guarantees.”
Her comment brought on difficult memories. “I know.” His loving relationship with Ellene filled his mind with a rush of nostalgia. He gazed at the tilt of her head and the look in her eyes, unable to explain the rising sensation that fluttered through him like summer moths.
The twirled strand of hair fell into a ringlet when she lowered her hand. “So then who is the ‘we’ you mentioned?”
He pulled his gaze from the twist of hair. “My daughter. Caitlin. She’s six.”
Ellene’s pulse skipped. “A daughter.” Disbelief and sadness vied within her. She looked at Connor with fresh eyes. “A daughter,” she repeated, picturing her career-filled life.
He shrugged as if not knowing how to respond. “It’s been difficult raising her alone for the past couple of years.”
“I’m sure it has,” she said, trying to make sense of the sweep of emotion that overtook her. She could have married, too. She could’ve had a child and not just a career. The choice had been hers.
The waitress saved her from further conversation. Her salad arrived, and Connor’s burger. They quieted, each delving into their meals. But Ellene’s appetite had waned. Connor, a dad. The vision filled her mind. As she swallowed, lettuce caught in her throat. She coughed, to no avail, then gave up and washed it down with a drink of tea.
Connor lowered his sandwich and wiped his mouth. “After mom died, the cottage seemed a perfect place to bring Caitlin. My mother’s sister—remember my aunt Phyllis?—she lives next door, and we’ll be close to her. It’ll be good.”
Ellene couldn’t deal with all the details spilling from him. She pushed the greens around in her bowl, longing to get away and sort her emotions. She wanted to be distant and businesslike, but he’d dropped a surprise into the mix. A six-year-old daughter. A little girl without a mother.
Ellene remembered one of her friends losing her mother when they were both children. How did a child deal with the loss? How had Connor explained his wife’s death? And without a strong faith, what hope had Connor offered his child?
She jerked her mind back to their business. “When do you want me to see the cabin?”
“What’s good for you?”
Not this, she thought. Ellene felt Connor’s knee jerking beneath the table. He always did that when he was edgy. She leaned down to pick up her handbag tucked beneath her chair. “I don’t know,” she said, unzipping the top and pulling out her daily planner.
She tilted the notebook away from Connor. Free days rose from the page, but her self-preservation fought going to the familiar cabin and seeing the little girl. Caitlin, he’d called her. A good old Irish name to go with Faraday. What might she and Connor have named their daughter? A knot twisted in her chest.
Ellene felt Connor’s gaze on her, and she lifted her focus from the planner. Her heartbeat skipped when she saw the look in his crystal-blue eyes. She could never forget his eyes or the elfin grin that looked so mischievous it made her laugh.
Today she saw only confusion.
“How about next week? Thursday or Friday?” she asked.
A frown sprang to his face. “Is this Saturday bad for you?”
“Saturday?”
“Caitlin goes to elementary school during the week. I’d rather not take her out of classes.”
She hadn’t thought. “Saturday’s fine, Connor. I’ll be there in the early afternoon.” And get it over with.
He nodded as she forced her attention back to her lunch. But who felt like eating?
Chapter Two
Saturday, Ellene pulled into the Champion Auto Ferry parking lot and got in line with nothing to do but watch the ferry maneuver across Lake St. Clair from Harsens Island to the mainland. The wintry March sun struck the gray snow piled along the bank, but the feeble rays didn’t penetrate the cold outside her car. Enormous ice floes jammed against each other and struck the nose of the boat as it moved to shore.
She rolled down her window to pay the five-dollar toll while a bitter wind swept inside her car and sent a chill down her back. The outer cold seemed no more icy than her internal struggle.
Today she’d face Connor again, but this time on his turf. Since she’d seen him earlier in the week, she’d wavered between nostalgia and bitterness. The good times rolled sweetly into her thoughts, but she tossed them out like old shoes, not wanting to deal with the hurtful memories.
Ellene focused ahead of her, past the sun’s rays glinting off the hood of her car. Why couldn’t she let the sunny memories of their relationship stay forefront in her mind? She squinted at the glare as the ramp dropped into place and the cars began to roll forward.
As the ferry boat propelled into the channel, she felt the jar of the ice floes and watched new snowflakes settle on her windshield. Summer seemed the time for island life, not the end of winter.
When they reached the other side, Ellene glanced at Connor’s directions before leaving the ferry. It had been years since she’d been to the cabin, and Connor had always driven.
She veered the car down South Channel Road toward Middle Channel, passing a border of dried plume grass that grew tall along the banks. When she came to the party store, she knew she was close.
She slowed, her heart beating overtime. Questions barraged her. Why was she so nervous? Why couldn’t she put the past behind her as her father had suggested? Why couldn’t she accept the blame—or some of it—for their breakup? But she couldn’t. She wanted nothing to do with Connor, child or no child.
Still, she had to admit, before she’d met him for lunch, she’d often thought about an older Connor. Would he look the same? Would he be bald or paunchy? Their meeting had answered her curiosity.
Connor had become a handsome man. Maturity had broadened his chest and toned his muscles so that his trim frame looked solid and healthy. His smile hadn’t changed, and only the small crinkles around his eyes added something new to his character.
Her grip tightened on the steering wheel when she saw the log cabin. She pulled into the driveway, sending up a prayer that God would give her guidance and soften her attitude.
She sat a moment, thinking of her feelings—pride, hurt, dismay. Connor had wounded her and left her disillusioned. But she’d rebounded, dating one man, then another, never feeling drawn to any of them, but longing to get even with Connor for his rejection.
Connor’s rejection had been the first, but not the last. Only last year she’d thought she had found another man who’d expressed his love and devotion. A few months ago, she’d learned he’d cheated on her. Her skin crawled with the memory.
That day, Ellene had realized that few men could be trusted. She didn’t need a man. Today she was determined to work for her father and make him proud.
As she headed up the driveway, the side door opened. Connor peeked out and grinned. “Cold, isn’t it?” His brown-and-white checkered shirt beneath a deeper brown sweater gave him a homey charm.
She couldn’t help but grin back at his stupid question. “You could have waited until May for this.”
“Not really. I want to get settled here during the summer when Caitlin is out of school.”
Caitlin. The name whacked her in the chest. As she stepped inside, she gave the room a quick scan, expecting the child to be there. But she wasn’t in sight, and the fact aroused Ellene’s curiosity.
She covered her discomfort by surveying the open space of the great room, dining and kitchen all in one. “I’d forgotten how nice this is,” she said, admiring the expansive room. “You have lots of space to work with. I like it.”
“I like it, too, but it’s the—”
“I hate it here!”
The child’s shout pierced their subdued conversation, followed by the sound of a crash above their heads as if she’d thrown something across the room.
“Sorry,” Connor said. “She’s having one of her bad days.”
“You never let me do anything,” Caitlin bellowed down the staircase.
Ellene flinched at the child’s frustration.
Connor walked to the narrow opening and called up the stairs. “Caitlin, stop it. We have company.”
“I don’t care. I don’t want any company.”
“She doesn’t mean it,” he said, looking at Ellene with contrition in his eyes. He turned and bolted up the stairs, and Ellene waited, listening to the commotion from above.
Finally it quieted, except for a child’s sobs. Ellene’s heart wrenched at the sound.
Connor’s footsteps thudded down the stairs and paused at the bottom. “Sorry. This is too common lately.”
Ellene felt at a loss. “What do you do?”
“Let her cry it out. I don’t know what else to do. To be honest, once in a while I’d like to give her a good spanking, but that’s not what she needs.”
His comment sparked her curiosity. “What does she need?”
“A mother to give her more attention than I can.”
Ellene felt a shudder course through her, and she clasped her handbag tighter to her body. The sorrow she felt for Connor at that moment overwhelmed her. “It must be hard for you.” She tilted her head toward the staircase. “What do you do when she acts out this way?”
“She’s in time-out with threats of no TV.”
“No TV? I suppose that’s a good punishment.”
He nodded. “Caitlin’s shy and hasn’t made friends around here yet. TV’s her major form of entertainment.”
As he stepped forward, a disconcerted look registered on his face. “I really apologize for all this.” He extended his hand. “I didn’t even take your coat.”
Ellene slipped it from her shoulders and handed it to him.
“Have a seat. I’ll make some coffee.”
“You don’t need to do that,” she said, rattled by the child’s problems and her own sensations.
Ellene’s emotions flew to opposite poles—pity and envy. If she and Connor had married, they might have had a daughter. Then she would be a mother, not knowing what to do either with an unhappy child.
While Connor strode into the kitchen area, Ellene settled into a chair and gazed through the glass door to the large porch and the channel beyond, weighing her thoughts and calming her discomfort while Conner put on a pot of coffee. When he finished he headed across the room to Ellene.
“I want to make things better for Caitlin,” he said, sinking into the chair across from her. “She’ll make friends eventually, once she starts school here. Aunt Phyllis will be good for her. Caitlin needs a woman in her life, and even though…”
Connor’s voice melded into Ellene’s muddied thoughts. Caitlin needed a woman—but, as Connor had just said, the girl needed a mother. Every child deserved to be loved and nourished by a mother-figure. Ellene recalled Connor’s elderly aunt. She had been a nice woman, but would she be able to deal with the energy and needs of a young, lonely child?
“I shouldn’t be yakking so much,” Connor said, his voice impinging into her reverie. “You don’t want to hear my problems.”
Ellene hadn’t heard them, except she understood his frustration. “I feel for you, Connor. Being a parent is a big responsibility.”
“And being a single parent is even bigger.”
Ellene nodded, not knowing what else to say. They gazed at each other until she became uneasy. “I suppose we should get down to business.”
“Right. The business.” The scent of coffee filled the air, and Connor rose again, pulled down three mugs from the cabinet and grabbed a packet from a nearby box.
Hot chocolate for Caitlin, Ellene guessed. Connor has a soft heart. The awareness pressed against her chest.
Connor poured the coffee and handed Ellene a cup, then strode to the staircase. “Caitlin, if you can be a good girl, you can come down for some cocoa.”
He stood a moment listening, then shrugged. But in a moment, footsteps sounded on the steps, and Ellene’s gaze shifted back to the staircase opening. In a heartbeat, a spindly child, dressed in pink sweat-pants and shirt paused in the doorway. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and an occasional hiccup let Ellene know she was controlling her sobs.
When she inched into the room, she headed straight for Connor who was putting a mug into the microwave. She reached him and buried her face into his pantleg, wrapping her arms around his leg.
“Can you say hello to Ellene?” Connor asked, resting his hand on the child’s dark-blond hair.
She didn’t raise her head but curled even closer to Conner and gave a shake.
Connor crouched and tilted her eyes to his, whispering something Ellene couldn’t hear. When he rose again, Caitlin stood straighter, watching the microwave above her head. Hearing the quiet beep, Connor pulled out the mug, added the chocolate mixture and stirred, then set it on the counter. “Let it cool a minute or you’ll burn your hands.”
He grasped his mug of coffee and headed for Ellene. “I suppose you don’t approve.” He passed the chair and sat on the couch.
She frowned, wondering what he meant.
He gave a slight tilt of his head toward Caitlin. “Forgiving too quickly.”
Forgiving too quickly. The words shot through her as her father’s words pierced her thoughts. The Bible teaches us to forgive so that God will forgive us our mistakes. “I don’t think you were wrong.”
He gave her a questioning look, as if he wasn’t sure if she meant it, then turned toward Caitlin. She’d grasped the mug of chocolate and was blowing on the top. Connor patted the cushion beside him.
Caitlin noticed, but hesitated.
“Hi, Caitlin. I’m glad to meet you,” Ellene said, watching the child’s unsteady journey with her hot drink.
Caitlin gave her a shy look, then moved closer and finally settled beside Connor.
Ellene took a sip of the coffee, surprised that Connor remembered she liked it with milk, and studied the child. She saw Connor’s image in the little girl, and it was more than the blue eyes. Caitlin had the same determined set to the jaw. What looked different was her nose, more delicate and slightly rounded at the tip. The early thought rose in her mind. What would her and Connor’s little daughter have looked like? If…
No ifs. She clinched her jaw, struggling to gain control of her thoughts and let her question slide. She focused on Caitlin, wishing she could do something to bring a smile to the child’s face, something to help her relax. “Do you know why I’m here?”
Caitlin shook her head as she glanced toward her dad.
“I’m here to fix your new house for you.”
“I don’t want a new house,” she mumbled.
Her response startled Ellene. She figured most kids would love the excitement of moving to a new house. “You don’t think it’ll be fun to have new adventures and make new friends?”
The child looked away, never letting her gaze land on Ellene. “I don’t want new friends. I hate it here.”
Ellene flinched again at the child’s vehemence. “Why?”
The simple question seemed to stump the girl. She looked down at the floor, then into her cocoa mug and shrugged.
“I’d love to live on an island,” Ellene said, knowing that she’d stretched the truth a bit. She’d enjoy the island in the summer.
Caitlin gave her a wary look, but for the first time, had finally looked into her eyes.
Ellene’s chest tightened at the visual contact. “Your daddy—” The word hurt to say. “—can take you in a boat in the summer, and you can go swimming on the beach. And in the wintertime, you can—” Can what? Freeze to death was all she could think of.
“Tell Ellene what we’re going to do with your bedroom,” Connor said, filling Ellene’s abrupt silence.
Caitlin shook her head. “I don’t want a new bedroom.”
Hearing the child’s plaintive voice, Ellene felt rocked with compassion and set her cup on the table. She and Connor needed to get to their business, but Caitlin’s unhappiness engulfed her.
Ellene’s mind spun with actions. Not confident in her tack, she rose. “Why don’t you show me your room? Maybe you could tell me what another girl might like if she lived in this house. I bet you have good ideas.”
The child studied her a minute, and to Ellene’s amazement, she stood, eyed her dad and then headed toward the stairway. Ellene gave Connor a sidelong look and followed.
Connor watched them head up the stairs, then stood to follow but changed his mind. He’d leave well enough alone. Maybe Caitlin would soften her belligerence, and Ellene would see the sweet child she really was.
He drained his cup, set it on the table and wandered to the glass doorway that led to the porch. Outside he saw the crystallized snow that rimmed the lake. His gaze drifted to the porch love seat while memories swept him away.
He and Ellene had visited the cottage more than once, and they’d sat on the porch, occasionally alone, where he could sneak a kiss. He recalled her soft lips. They were young and inexperienced, not that he’d wanted to be. He’d listened to the guys in the high school locker room relate their conquests, brag about their prowess, and he’d laugh and nod as if he knew what they were talking about.
But he’d respected Ellene too much even to suggest anything like that to her. Now that he thought back, he wondered where he’d gotten such self-control. He’d wanted to know the secrets that his buddies bragged about, but his morals had stopped him from tempting fate.
So why in college had he succumbed so easily to Melanie? He’d been hurt by Ellene’s rejection. Rejection? The excuse sounded so weak. They’d promised to marry after he graduated from college—only a couple of years to wait. Ellene had been the only woman he’d really loved.
Rejection was no excuse for his behavior. He’d gotten involved with Melanie on the rebound. She’d been attractive and more romantically experienced, and he’d thought…
Connor listened to the sounds above him, longing for life to have taken a different turn. Would his life have been different if he’d controlled himself with Melanie? Could he have resolved the problem with Ellene and gotten back together?
Though he’d tried, Connor couldn’t remember how he and Ellene had become friends, but they had. They had been raised differently. She’d been born into a family he’d never experienced. Her parents lived well, enjoying their Italian heritage. He could picture the lovely home surrounded by flowers and trees. Her mother, always neatly dressed, wore jewelry and perfume. She attended social functions and volunteered at one of the charity foundations, while her father ran the family business. They had money and luxuries. Their family gatherings were loud and full of food and love.
His own family struggled to make ends meet. His mom worked behind the counter at a dollar store, and his dad worked in a small factory, coming home with grime beneath his fingernails and smelling of cigarette smoke.
Another noise from above caused Connor to turn and look up. Enough of wondering what was happening with Caitlin and Ellene. He strode across the room and up the staircase.
The second story reminded him why Ellene had come to the cabin. The upper floor held two small rooms with limited closet space, hardly a place for a young girl to feel at home. Caitlin had the larger room, but the smaller one had become a storage area with boxes and unused furniture that needed to be tossed out. Connor longed to make one lovely room for Caitlin with space to spare.
He strode past the smaller room and stood outside Caitlin’s door. “So how’s it going?” he asked as he stepped inside.
Ellene was sitting on the corner of the bed while Caitlin stood in the middle of the room, pointing toward the closet.
“Are you telling Ellene what you want up here?”
“I don’t want anything. I told you.” Her piercing voice was followed by the sweep of her hand across a night table. The contents clattered to the floor. “You never listen to me. I’m telling her what the other girl wants.”
“What other girl?” he asked.
The child’s face darkened to crimson as she shook her finger at him. “The girl Ellene said who’ll live in this house.”
“That’s enough, Caitlin.” Connor struggled to keep his voice calm. He stepped forward, catching her by the arm and drawing her to his side. “I’m sorry. I forgot, but you can’t be rude like this.”
Ellene rose from the bed and edged toward the door, looking uneasy. “I’ll be downstairs.”
He returned his attention to Caitlin, embarrassed that Ellene had to see his daughter’s worst behavior. He closed his eyes a minute to gather his thoughts. “I can’t let you treat an adult this way, Caitlin. If I were mean to you then I might deserve this, but I love you, and I only want the best for you.”
Her belligerent look faded as tears pooled in her eyes and she reached up for him to lift her into his arms. She tilted her head forward and rested her chin on his shoulder, tears flowing onto his shirt. His chest heaved with sadness as he cuddled his daughter. Lately she’d changed from a shy, quiet child to a withdrawn, angry one.
Connor held Caitlin in his arms, smelling the lemony scent of her shampoo mingled with the chocolate aroma on her breath. After she quieted he settled her on the bed and stood beside her, caressing her hair while his vision blurred from the moisture in his own eyes.
What could he do? He wanted to invest in a new business—his own business—and he couldn’t do that without more financing. His house in the Detroit suburbs would bring a good price and help start his business and still pay for renovations on the cottage. He’d do anything to make Caitlin content, but he didn’t think the house or cabin had anything to do with it. Caitlin needed attention. She needed love, and he couldn’t seem to give her enough of either.
“I want you to stay here until you feel like being more friendly. Ellene is here on business, and I have to talk with her.”
Caitlin didn’t respond. He shook his head and turned to the stairs.
“What kind of business?”
Her soft voice surprised him, and he turned toward her. “She’s a building contractor.”
“What’s that?” She rolled over to face him.
Connor’s chest tightened seeing her confused face. “She’s a person who helps remodel a business or a house. She helps people decide which rooms to add or how to change them.”
Caitlin frowned. “But she seems like your friend.”
“I’ve known her and her father for many years.”
“She has a daddy, too?”
“Yes. Mr. Bordini.”
“And a mommy?”
A lump caught in Connor’s throat. “Yes.”
“I thought so.”
Fighting a lump in his throat, Connor could only nod.
Caitlin rolled back to face the wall.
“I’ll talk to you later, sweetheart,” he said, heading once again for the staircase.
“I know. You got business,” she mumbled.
Business. Yes, he had business with Ellene, but the word seemed so incompatible with the deeper relationship they’d once had. Seeing her now brought back those old unpleasant feelings. No surprise, really. Their parting had been shocking to him. He wondered if she’d ever realized how devastated he’d been. It hadn’t been what he’d wanted, but pride and stubbornness had stopped him from begging her to take back the ring. He’d walked away.
Things happen for a reason, and later he’d realized the breakup had probably been for the best. Since Connor hadn’t been a strong Christian then, he’d feared he could never meet her parents’ expectations or make Ellene happy. Their relationship, he worried, would have brought heartache for everyone.
At the bottom of the stairs, Connor drew in a lengthy breath, then stepped into the room.
Ellene stood by the doorway, looking through the window into the porch.
“Today isn’t a good day for Caitlin.”
When he spoke, she turned to face him. “It’s probably because I’m here.” She lifted a finger and drew it around a lock of hair.
“It’s not that.” He wanted to explain, but he didn’t have the answer himself. It was so many things.
She seemed to wait, and when he didn’t add to his comment, she glanced at her watch. “It’s getting late. I should finish up here and get on my way.”
His pulse skipped as she stepped closer to him. “By the time we finish, it’ll be getting dark. How about staying for dinner?”
She hesitated, then stiffened. “No, Connor, but thanks. Let’s get started. I would really like to finish before dark. It’s a long drive home.”
Connor feared he’d pushed too hard, and he knew Ellene too well. When she meant business, that was it.
A sarcastic tone edged his words. “Okay, let’s get this finished.”
Chapter Three
After an hour of talking about the cabin, Ellene settled onto one of Connor’s dining-room chairs and lifted the lid on her laptop. She opened her software program and began pulling together the renovation details they’d discussed.
Connor had finally left her alone while he worked at the kitchen counter, probably preparing their evening meal. She glanced at him occasionally, seeing him stare into the refrigerator and study the inside of the pantry. She forced herself to concentrate. She needed to input the figures and ideas they’d discussed, then get on the road. The trip home would take over an hour even without the weekday traffic, and the longer she stayed the more confused she became. For so many years, she’d dragged around her negative attitude about Connor, yet today he’d even made her laugh.
She studied the yellow legal pad as a garbled notation hopped from the page. “You’re willing to lose four feet of the great room to expand the bathroom and bedroom downstairs. Is that what we agreed? I can’t read my notes.”
“Right. If we make the porch a year-round room, I can spread the sitting area out even more, and we’ll leave the far end of the porch as it is.” He glanced her way. “Is that right?”
“The last twelve feet will remain a screened-in porch. Correct.” Her fingers flew across the keyboard, and she only noticed Caitlin when her shadow fell over her scribbled notes.
The girl leaned over her shoulder and looked at the screen. “What are you doing?”
“I’m typing information.”
“Can I type?”
“I’m working right now, Caitlin, but I know computers are fun. They have all kinds of information and even programs for kids.”
Caitlin drew back. “I know.”
Ellene chuckled at her blunt retort.
The little girl touched the edge of the keyboard. “We have computers at my school.”
“Computers are the backbone of communication.”
Caitlin’s face screwed into a disbelieving look. “Computers don’t have backbone. People do.”
Ellene laughed and glanced at Connor who sent her a wry smile. “I mean, it’s very important in business. We can talk with people all over the world.”
Caitlin lifted her eyebrows. “Talk?”
“Not talk, but write to people or read information from other countries.”
“On e-mail,” Caitlin said.
The child’s simple response made Ellene grimace at her lack of experience talking with children.
Caitlin faced Connor. “Daddy, we should get a computer for home, too.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Maybe we should, but Caitlin, right now, you shouldn’t bother Ellene.”
“It’s okay,” But was it? Ellene felt her heartstrings tangling around the little girl. She needed to remain uninvolved before she got hurt again.
Caitlin leaned closer to the monitor. “Do you have games on your computer?”
“A few.” Ellene paused a moment to shoo her away, then thought better of it and hit the minimize button. “This is the desktop. See this right here.” She cringed suspecting Caitlin knew about the desktop.
Caitlin nodded as Ellene clicked an icon. A noise hummed and clicked as a machine came onto the screen while Caitlin giggled.
“What’s that?” the child asked, pressing her finger against the monitor.
“It’s pinball. You’re too young for this game, but adults like it.”
Caitlin leaned closer, watching Ellene shoot the ball. “We don’t have games like that at school.”
The sound pulled Connor from the kitchen area, and he wandered to her side and leaned over, viewing the screen. “I’ve never played computer games.”
“You’re kidding,” Ellene said. “What world do you live in?” Silence hung between them for a moment.
“The world of a single dad.”
Her stomach knotted, getting his message.
“Look,” she said, hoping to ease the uncomfortable moment. “Here are the keys to use the flippers and bumpers, and you use the space bar to shoot the ball.”
Caitlin giggled as Ellene’s ball skittered across the screen, bouncing into a worm hole and rattling against the bumpers. She gave the ball another whack, and it rebounded, sending her score upward.
“My turn!” Connor said, then chuckled at himself. “Could I try?”
She grinned at the childlike way he’d requested a chance to play, and she rose, allowing him to slip into the chair. He tested the keys, getting used to the flippers, before he began his turn. When he shot the first ball, he missed, and it vanished down the chute. No score.
He gave her a silly grin while his knee tapped as he pushed the space key that triggered the ball into the playing field.
Ellene forgot herself, watching him play the game and delighting in Caitlin’s amazement. But, noticing the clock hands, she realized too much time had slipped away. She’d let down her guard and had gotten caught up in Connor’s company. That wasn’t supposed to happen.
She touched Connor’s shoulder, aware of the muscles that rolled beneath her palm. “I need to get going, Connor. I have to break up your fun.”
He halted and dropped his hand from the keyboard. “Sorry. I got carried away.”
Caitlin slipped her arm around his shoulder. “Get us one, daddy,” she pleaded in his ear. “We can play games.”
“It keeps them busy,” Ellene said, seeing the excitement on Caitlin’s face.
Caitlin pressed her palms on Connor’s cheeks and turned his face to hers. “It keeps kids busy, Daddy.”
Ellene hid her grin.
Connor rose, and Ellene slipped back into the chair without comment.
Caitlin continued to watch her as she input the data. Ellene longed to get out of there and finish the job back in the office, but she feared she couldn’t read what she’d scribbled.
The aroma of ground meat drifted around her, and her stomach gnawed silently. She wished he’d let her leave before preparing their meal, but glancing at the time, she realized he had every right to get their dinner ready.
One notation confused her, and she stopped and reread the note. “Connor, we need to double check the porch.” She rose and headed for the doorway.
When she looked back, Connor had lowered the burner on the stove and turned to follow her. They stepped into the icy surroundings. Snowmobiles flew across the frozen channel, drawing her memory back to the large hunks of ice jamming against each other in the water as she crossed Lake St. Clair from the mainland.
She shivered, and Connor drew nearer, his arms rising, then lowering again as if he wanted to put them around her. “It’s too cold to be out here without a coat,” he said.
“It’ll only take a minute.” She hurried to the far side of the enclosure and pointed. “We want to begin the screened porch here.”
“Right.”
She handed him the end of the tape measure and backed up to the far wall. “Sixteen feet for the room’s length, then. I know it’s eleven and a half wide.” She drew in the tape as she returned to him. “What about this window over the sink? What did you decide?”
“You suggested leaving it as a window to pass food out for a picnic, and then you said you could block it with shelving on the inside.” He rubbed his temple as if the action would clear his memory. “I think that was it.”
“Which do you prefer? I like the opening.”
“Me, too, but what I’d really like is to get you inside.” He stepped behind her and grasped her arms, then shifted her around to face the doorway into the house. The heat from his nearness swept up her arms into her chest, and she felt his warm breath against her cheek.
Ellene longed to jerk from his grasp, but the feeling was too pleasant. Fighting her own longing, she eased away with her one-word reminder. “Business.”
Connor’s gaze lowered, and his smile faded. “It’s easy to forget.”
“Well, don’t, or you’ll have to find another contractor to handle this.” She winced. Once again, she could see her father’s face as he reprimanded her for not letting the past go and not handling the job like a professional.
Connor pushed open the outside door, and when they stepped in, Caitlin was sitting in the chair, staring at the computer.
Connor sucked in a gasp. “You didn’t touch anything, did you sweetheart?”
The child looked at him with a frown. “No.”
“Good,” he said, ignoring the look. He moved toward the fireplace and tossed a log onto the kindling, then struck a match.
Ellene watched mesmerized as the kindling burst into flames and licked upward toward the bark. The flicker lent a homey look to the large room.
When she turned, Caitlin scooted off the chair and let Ellene sit again to finish her work. She glanced at her watch. “I’m just about done.” She scrolled the document, then hit Save and closed the program.
The aroma from Connor’s dinner preparations blanketed her. This time her stomach gave a soft growl.
Caitlin tittered at the sound, then stepped back to let Ellene rise. “Are you going home?”
“I sure am. It’s late.”
Connor looked over his shoulder. “Why won’t you eat with us, Ellene? It’s almost ready. Goulash. Not gourmet but filling.”
“Eat with us,” Caitlin said, a whole different child than Ellene had met when she arrived.
“Sorry. I really must go.”
She closed the computer and snapped the lock, but as she reached for the handle, the side doorbell chimed. Before Connor answered it, the door swung open. An elderly woman in a navy pea jacket slipped inside, wearing boots that looked big enough to fit Connor. When she turned, Ellene recognized Connor’s aunt.
“Aunt Phyllis,” Connor said, stepping over to give her a hug. “Come in. You remember Ellene.”
The woman’s eyes widened in surprise. “The mind isn’t what it used to be, but I could never forget Ellene.” She grasped Ellene’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “How are you dear? It’s so good to see you.”
“I’m fine, and nice to see you,” Ellene said, surprised at the woman’s warm greeting.
Aunt Phyllis dragged snow across the room as she sought Caitlin and pulled her into an embrace.
“You’re too cold,” Caitlin said drawing back.
“It’s colder than the Arctic out there, and it’s starting to snow heavily again.”
Connor shifted to the fireplace, tossing on a smaller branch, then poked at the wood, sending sparks skittering up the flue.
Snow. Ellene had seen enough snow the past year to keep her happy for many white Christmases. “Then I’d better—”
“Did you just drop by for a visit?” Connor’s aunt asked.
“Not really. My father owns Bordini Construction, and I’m working up an estimate for a renovation project.”
Connor gave her a disappointed look, and Ellene realized he hadn’t shared the information with his aunt.
“Sorry,” she mouthed, trying to block the view from Aunt Phyllis. “He’s just thinking about it,” Ellene added, hoping to smooth her faux pas.
“I wanted to surprise you, Aunt Phyllis, once I knew it was a go. I know how disappointed you get when—”
“God be praised,” the woman said. “I’d have my prayers answered if you were thinking of moving here, Connor. I don’t like being alone on the island when things happen.”
When things happen. The words sounded ominous, but Ellene wasn’t going to ask what things. Not knowing seemed the lesser of evils.
Aunt Phyllis pulled off her jacket and lapped it over the back of a chair. “Last year we were without electricity for nearly a week when the lines froze. It’s not uncommon here on the island.”
Connor sputtered a laugh. “Aunt Phyllis if you’re trying to encourage me to move to the island, that won’t help my enthusiasm.”
“Let the Lord be in charge, Connor.”
Ellene felt her brows lift, wondering what she meant.
Aunt Phyllis must have noticed her arched eyebrows and Connor’s gaping mouth. “Proverbs sixteen,” she said. “A man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”
Ellene hid her grin as she watched Connor sort through the words. Her gaze shifted to the blaze dancing in the fireplace while glowing embers sprinkled from the grate onto the hearth.
“You can plan all you want, Connor,” his aunt said, “but if the good Lord wants you living on the island, that’s where you’ll be.”
Connor scooted past her and whispered in Ellene’s ear as he headed for the stove. “If the good Lord or Aunt Phyllis wants it. That’s why I was keeping mum…until I was positive.”
“Sorry, Ellene said. But she couldn’t help but grin, hearing the woman putting Connor in his place. “I suppose I’d better—”
“Something smells good.” Phyllis turned toward the stove and leaned around Connor’s back to look into the pan. “Goulash. I haven’t had that in a long time.”
“You’re welcome to join us.”
“I wouldn’t be in the way?” She looked at Ellene as if asking her.
“You’re not in the way,” Connor said. “You’re always welcome to eat with us when we’re here.”
“I wasn’t worried about you,” Phyllis said. “I was asking Ellene.”
Ellene pressed her hand against her chest. “Me?”
Phyllis nodded. “You’re the guest here.”
“But I’m leaving. I was just getting my things together.”
Phyllis tilted her head to the side, a wry look on her face. “Leaving?”
“I’m heading home,” Ellene said again.
Phyllis broke into a chuckle. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“I’m not?”
“That’s what I came over to tell you. The ice is jammed tighter than a jar of pickles. You’re not getting off this island tonight. Maybe not even tomorrow from what I hear.”
Chapter Four
Connor watched Ellene’s expression droop. “It happens in winter, Ellene.”
“It happens? You mean you live here with all these unexpected events—no ferry service, no electricity, no… I can’t imagine wanting—”
“It’s an adventure,” Connor said, trying to stop her before Caitlin joined in the cry of not wanting to live on the island, either.
“You call this an adventure?” Ellene asked.
Connor drew Caitlin closer to his side. “We like adventures, don’t we? We’ve had times we just climbed into the car and drove off. No destination. Just looking for adventure. Then we’d end up—”
“At the cider mill,” Caitlin said, “and one time the fair. I like surprises.”
Ellene’s eyelids lowered as if she realized what she’d almost done. “Surprises are fun,” she said, as if finally understanding Connor’s concern. “But I really need to get home. That’s not the surprise I was hoping for. Isn’t there something they do to keep the ice from freezing at the ferry landing?”
Connor realized she was trying to sound upbeat, but he saw the look in her eyes. “Of course, they try, but nature is nature.”
“They must do something?”
Aunt Phyllis chuckled. “The coast guard brings in the Bramble to see what she can do.”
“Coast guard?” Ellene gave a fleeting look toward Connor, then turned her attention to Aunt Phyllis. “What’s the Bramble?”
“The coast guard cutter,” Connor said.
She looked befuddled. “Are you kidding?”
“No. The Bramble breaks up the ice, but once the thaw begins they have a big job keeping the ice from packing against the shoreline. The ice jam not only halts the ferry service, but it stops the freighters’ access through the channel into the lake.”
“They can’t expect people to be stranded here forever.”
Aunt Phyllis moved closer and patted Ellene’s shoulder. “Not forever, dear. Only heaven is forever. It lasts a few hours or a few days.” She gave Ellene’s shoulder another pat. “Sometimes two or three weeks at the most.”
Ellene’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”
“No, she’s not,” Connor said. “If it lasts too long, the coast guard flies in emergency helicopters to give those in need access to the mainland for food or illness. We couldn’t live on the island without the coast guard.”
Ellene lifted her computer case from the table. “I need to get home, so I’ll have to take my chances, I guess. I’ll drive down there and wait.”
Aunt Phyllis shook her head. “It could be a long wait. Why not wait here? Connor can call the ferry and check.”
“Thanks, but I’d rather see for myself.”
Pulling her cheek away from a chair back where she’d been listening, Caitlin rose and moved closer. “We could play games.”
Ellene faced her with a sympathetic grin. “I’d love to play games, but not tonight.”
Caitlin’s expectant look fell. She plopped into a chair and lowered her head as if she’d been personally rejected.
Connor opened his mouth to say more, but he gave up. Ellene had always been one of the most obstinate women he’d ever met. Today was proof. “If it’s hopeless, come back, will you?”
She slipped her arms into her jacket, flipped her dark hair over the collar and buttoned it. “I have confidence in the coast guard.”
His shoulders sagged with her ridiculous comment. Stubborn. Stubborn. Stubborn. “Fine. Let me know when you have some plans ready, okay?”
“Sure,” she said, grasping her laptop handle. “So nice to see you, Aunt Phyllis,” she said, giving the woman a hug. “And Caitlin, I really enjoyed meeting you.”
Caitlin lifted her gaze and shrugged her shoulder.
“I’ll be in touch,” she said, turning the doorknob and stepping outside.
The cold wind whipped through the open door, then vanished as she closed it.
Connor stared at the door a moment, waiting for it to reopen and Ellene to come back, but she didn’t. When he turned around, his aunt Phyllis was shaking her head.
“Bullheaded, isn’t she?
Connor couldn’t help but smile. “She has her moments, but she’s a wonderful woman on good days.”
“Why wouldn’t she stay, Daddy?” Caitlin whined from her slouched pose on the chair, her arms folded across her chest.
“She has her reasons, Caitlin.” He started to say he didn’t know, but he did. Ellene couldn’t let go of the past. He hadn’t, either, not for many years.
“What reasons?”
“Caitlin, we don’t always get our way. Sometimes people have their own plans.” He glanced at his aunt and arched a brow. “And Ellene definitely has her own.”
“For better or worse,” Aunt Phyllis said.
For better or worse? Connor studied his aunt’s expression, observing a sly grin that he recognized from her days of trying to play matchmaker for him.
“Don’t push it, Aunt Phyllis,” he said, grinning back. “I can always uninvite you to dinner.”
Her grin faded. Then she recouped and laughed. “You wouldn’t.”
Connor arched a brow and didn’t answer.
Her jaw set in determination, Ellene pulled away from Connor’s house and headed toward the ferry. The setting sun had caused the temperature to drop and the roads that had once crunched beneath her tires had frozen into slippery ruts.
She gripped the wheel, thinking of the pleasant warmth of Connor’s fireplace and the warmth of his smile. Shadows lengthened along the channel road, and at the turn, her car skidded toward a ditch until she wrestled her way back to the road, thankful for the blessing.
Her earlier line to appease Caitlin jumped into her thoughts. I’d love to live on an island. She shook her head. There wasn’t a grain of truth in that statement, but if she’d been wise, tonight she could have stayed. Her stomach gnawed, recalling the aroma of the goulash. The place needed work, but it could be a cozy home for Caitlin, except for the when-things-happen issue.
How could people live in a location that cut them off from the rest of the world? The questions tossed in her thoughts as she recalled the sunny summer days by the lake, the fresh breeze from the water, the easygoing lifestyle so different from the tensions of her daily life.
She could picture the moon hanging over the water. More than in well-populated areas, stars filled the sky on the island, winking and blinking with their phantasmal splendor. It spelled romance.
Romance. She brushed away the thought.
The ferry dock rose into view as her spirits sank. No cars waiting, only a large sign. Ferry Closed Until Further Notice. She saw a man inside the small building, and she pulled into the ferry driveway. When she stepped from the car, the breeze had whipped into a bitter wind. It was March. Only in Michigan would this weather make sense.
“Ferry’s closed,” the man called from the building door.
“For how long?”
He shrugged and shook his head. “Not tonight, I can guarantee. Tomorrow doesn’t look good, especially if this storm comes in that’s heading this way.” He gave a toss of his head. “It could be longer.”
Ellene looked into the sky and saw the burdened slate-colored clouds. Winter storm. Just what she needed. Her shoulders sagged with the weight of the news. “Any hotels around here?”
He chuckled. “Not on the island?”
“Rooms for rent? Bed and breakfasts?”
He shook his head. “You can rent cabins in the summer. Not now.”
Her frustration flared as she climbed back into the car. She smacked the heel of her hand against the steering wheel, then backed out of the driveway and stopped along the edge of the road. She didn’t want to go back and face Connor’s I-told-you-so look. Connor. Even his name caused her pulse to skip. She’d tried forever to push the memories from her mind, but failed. Every man she had dated she’d compared to Connor.
Now after all these years, he had a daughter, a six-year-old who— She paused, counting on her fingers. They’d dated until nearly eight years ago. Connor truly hadn’t wasted time. He’d dated Ellene forever, it seemed, so how could he fall in love with someone else that fast? She’d heard he’d met someone after only a few months. Gossip was never completely trustworthy, but could he really have loved another woman while Ellene’s emotions burned for months…a year or more?
A sigh escaped her as she pulled her cell phone from her purse. She wanted to talk with someone, anyone who would understand. Her mother? No. Her father? That would be worse.
Christine Powers? Ten years older but like a big sister. They’d become friends at a fitness spa. Funny how friendships formed. They’d had dinner together one evening after a workout, talked about a new Tom Hanks movie they both wanted to see, and that was it—a friendship sprang up.
Ellene flipped through her address book until she found Christine’s number, hoping she’d be home. Saturday night was date night for most single woman.
She listened to the ring, and when she was about ready to hang up, Christine answered.
“Guess where I am?” Ellene said, after identifying herself.
“In Jamaica?”
“Don’t I wish. Stranded on Harsens Island.”
“Stranded?”
Ellene groaned out her story—Connor, Caitlin and the closed ferry. “Connor insisted I stay, but I couldn’t?”
“You couldn’t? Did you find a hotel?”
“None. Nothing.”
“Then where are you?”
Christine’s voice lifted with her question, and Ellene could picture the look on her face. “Sitting at the closed ferry landing.”
“Hmm? And you’re too proud to go back to Connor’s.”
“It’s not that exactly.” The truth flashed in her thoughts. “Okay, so I’m proud, but it’s more than that. I’m still attracted to him, Christine, and I don’t know what to do.”
Christine’s chuckle bounced from the phone. “Do I need to explain how uncontrollable emotions—”
“But I don’t want to have feelings for Connor. I told you what happened with him and later Owen doing the same thing.” Owen. Her chest tightened at the mistake she’d made with him. “I can’t handle this now. How can I trust a man who hurt me so badly?”
“Did you ever wonder if you hurt him, Ellene?”
Her friend’s question knocked her backward into the seat. “It’s not what I’d planned. You know that. I thought—”
“Thinking has consequences. People handle rejection in different ways. You withdrew, and Connor rebounded. He found someone who loved him without expectations.”
She pictured Connor running into the arms of another woman who thought he was perfect. Ellene realized that at one time she’d thought he was perfect. She had analyzed the relationship countless times. He loved her. She loved him, but she’d begun to feel she owned him. She’d wanted him to ignore his buddies to spend time with her. She’d even been upset when he cancelled a date because his mother had an emergency and needed him. Her emotions had swung from one extreme to the other—from deeply frustrated to a longing that defied her upbringing.
“Are you there?” Christine asked.
“Sorry. I was thinking.”
“Are you thinking about the right things?”
“What do you mean right things?”
“The good times with Connor. Once you raked him over the coals for a year, I recall you telling me about his tenderness, his charm, his respect for your Christian morals, his uncanny way—”
“I remember, but that doesn’t make up for—”
“I liked him. Do you remember those moonlight hayrides you told me about, walks through the woods in autumn, tobogganing in winter, swimming at Kensington Beach, picnics at Bloomer State Park, Franklin Cider Mill.”
Ellene wanted to scream. She remembered all too well. “I called you to give me moral support, not to—”
Car lights flashed in her eyes. The vehicle slowed and her heart rose when she realized it was Connor.
“Connor’s here, Christine.”
“There, at the ferry landing?”
Ellene nodded, watching Connor climb from his SUV and head for the passenger side of her car.
“Ellene?”
“He’s here, Christine. Thanks for listening. I know you meant well. I suppose I should think about the good times, but it only makes me sad.”
“It doesn’t have to,” Christine said.
Connor rapped his knuckles against her locked door.
“I’ll talk with you later?”
“Think about what I said. That’s all I ask. You don’t want to be sorry you missed a chance.”
Missed a chance. A chance for what? Getting hurt again? She pressed the lock release on the door, and Connor pulled it open. The cold wind swished inside, sending a chill up her spine. “I will. Talk to you later.” She disconnected as Connor closed the door.
A frown flashed across his face. “Boyfriend?”
“No.” She slipped the phone into her purse. “The ferry’s really closed.”
“I know. I thought you’d come back.”
She turned away from the sadness in his eyes. “I have no choice unless you know of a place for me to stay.”
“Nothing on the island, but if you’re not comfortable staying at the cottage, Aunt Phyllis invited you there. She has plenty of room and would love the company.”
Why hadn’t she thought of that? “That would work fine, Connor. Thanks. You know me and my upbringing.” Guilt washed over her, thinking back, but she didn’t want to deal with those memories now.
“I understand. I always have, Ellene.”
“I know.” She couldn’t look at him.
“I have a big plate of goulash for you and a salad. You must be starving.”
She nodded, trying to control the sensations that coiled around her heart. She wished he weren’t so thoughtful. She could detest him better that way.
“Caitlin will be thrilled you’re back. She went into pout mode after you left.” He shook his head. “Everything that smacks of abandonment seems to tear her apart.”
“Abandonment? You mean because I left?”
His eyes widened. “I didn’t mean it was your fault. It’s Caitlin. She opened up to you. She seemed more like herself than she has in days, but when she takes a chance and gets caught up in a relationship, the poor kid can’t handle people saying goodbye.”
His comment struck her like a rock. “Her mother’s death. That makes sense.”
“Yes, and I withdrew for a while. I tried not to, but I felt abandoned, too. What did I know about raising a four-year-old by myself? I had to cope with finding sitters and worrying about her care and needs. I felt guilty when I had to go somewhere if she couldn’t go along. My life changed in the blink of an eye. I felt helpless and useless.”
Ellene’s chest tightened. “I can’t imagine what you went through.”
“It felt like punishment.” He lifted his hand as if to stop her thoughts. “Not having to raise Caitlin alone, but having Melissa die so young. I wasn’t the best husband in the world, Ellene. I—”
He stopped. She waited, her questions hanging on the threads of his words, but they seemed too personal to ask when he was apparently still grieving.
“Should we go back?” she asked.
“That’s what I’m here for,” he said, smiling as if he’d taken control of his emotion. “You go ahead, and I’ll follow you.”
He opened the door as she turned the key in the ignition, but the heater’s warmth couldn’t hold back the pesky cold.
“Drive carefully,” he said, leaning back into the car. “Thanks for listening.” He closed the door and hurried toward his car.
Thanks for listening. The poignant comment swelled in her chest like yeast in bread dough. Hearing his story, Ellene realized Connor had paid the price for any wrongdoing he’d done, if he’d done anything so wrong in the first place. Sorrow overwhelmed her. Lord, help me to mend my ways and give me a kind heart toward him.
Chapter Five
When a thread of sunlight slipped beneath the window shade, Connor rolled over and covered his eyes from the morning. Yet today offered him a different feeling, a new hope. He eased upward and inched open his eyes to look at the clock sitting on the nightstand. Though it was too early to get up, he longed to slip into jeans and a long-sleeved knit shirt and run next door to see Ellene—to assure himself she was still there, that she hadn’t run off in the night or been only a hope-filled dream.
Though Ellene had refused the invitation to stay in his cottage, she’d accepted his aunt’s offer. Knowing his aunt, she’d probably talked Ellene to sleep, but he felt grateful she’d given her a bed and, in the scheme of things, had given Connor another chance to make amends for the past. Now if he could garner the courage to tell her the truth.
When Ellene had agreed to work with him on the cottage renovations, an amazing opportunity had arisen, and Connor had prayed that God give him a way to spend some quality time with her. He hadn’t considered an ice jam, but if that had been God’s means of answering his prayer, Connor whispered a thank-you.
He rose on one elbow and ran his other hand through his hair, wondering if Ellene might soften her attitude. Last night when they’d returned from the ferry landing, she’d eaten a little but left for Aunt Phyllis’s as fast as she could. He knew she wanted to avoid him, but Connor had other plans.
Connor gave up any further plans to sleep and pushed his hand against the mattress to hoist himself to a sitting position. He went to the window, lifted the shade and savored the morning. The new snow glinted from the ground, and across the channel the ice looked unyielding.
He bowed his head, praying that the ferry didn’t run today, either. Then feeling guilty, Connor dressed quickly and crept into the kitchen so as not to wake Caitlin.
Only a couple eggs were in the refrigerator. With the ferry service down, he guessed the store in town would be sold out of eggs by the time he reached it. He found some bacon, but bacon and what? He grinned, remembering he’d recently purchased a box of pancake mix. That could last them a few days, if need be.
After putting on the coffee, Connor returned to his room, showered and dressed in fresh clothes, then crept upstairs to Caitlin’s room and peeked inside. She lay curled into a ball, her tawny hair splayed across the pillow. Often he had assailed God for forcing him to be a single parent, but as always, seeing his daughter’s flushed cheeks, her eyes closed and still, he gave thanks for the blessing.
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